"Pre-Therapy Titles"

COMPETITION #69 asked entrants to supply the pre-therapy title of a current genre book or short story. A reminder to all: F&SF competitions deal with science fiction or fantasy titles. Humorous entries involving Moby-Dick were sadly disqualified. A shout-out to the multitudes who submitted Sandbox for Dune and Secretary of the Rings for Lord of the Rings and variations thereof.

FIRST PRIZE:
Current Title: To Say Nothing of the Dog, by Connie Willis
Before Therapy: Say Nothing to the Dog. He Tells Me to Do Bad Things
—Mark Shainblum
Montreal, Quebec, Canada

Mr. Shainblum had several entries worthy of note:
Current Title: The Left Hand of Darkness, by Ursula K. Le Guin
Before Therapy: The Left Hand of Derek Is His Best Friend

Current Title: The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress, by Robert A. Heinlein
Before Therapy: The Man Is a Harsh Mistress

Current Title: Earth Is Room Enough, by Isaac Asimov
Before Therapy: The Crawlspace Under the Stairs Is Room Enough

Current Title: Man Plus, by Frederik Pohl
Before Therapy: Size Isn't Important, Right?

SECOND PLACE
Current Title: Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick
Before Therapy: Do Androids Dream of Killing Their Creators and Then Marrying Their Creators and in What Sort of Paranoid, Identity-Conflicted World Would That Be a Viable Lifestyle?
—Pat Scannell
Framingham, MA

RUNNERS-UP
Current Title: She, by H. Rider Haggard
Before Therapy: He
—Sean T. M. Stiennon
Madison, WI

Current title: All the Lies That Are My Life, by Harlan Ellison
Before therapy: Yeah, Um, I'm a Movie Star, Sure, and Also Do Triathalons
—Charles Coleman Finlay
Columbus, OH 

A special mention to the book that received therapy after publication:
Current Title: Conan the Conqueror, by Robert Howard
After Therapy: Conan the Consensus-Builder
—Michael Canfield
Seattle, WA

F&SF COMPETITION #70

THE 2055 HUGO AWARDS: The Hugo Committee has changed with the times, and in the year 2055, not all categories are the same. Look into the future and channel no more than six categories and their winners. Examples:

Example:
BEST NOVEL (Assimilated): Dune 26: Photocopies of Dune, by Tanya Herbert with Brian Herbert
BEST ANTHOLOGY (Interactive): Again, Dangerous Mad Libs, by Harlan Ellison's brain

Rules: Email entries to carol [a-t] cybrid [d-o-t] net. Be sure to include your contact information. Entries must be received by July 15, 2005. Judges are the editors of F&SF, and their decision is final. All entries become the property of F&SF.

Prizes: First prize will receive a signed first edition of Laughin' Boy by Bradley Denton (published by Subterranean Press). Second prize will receive advance reading copies of three forthcoming novels. Any runners-up will receive one-year subscriptions to F&SF. Results of competition #70 will appear in the December 2005 issue.