"Lie to Me"

FOR OUR competition, we had our entrants take a Facebook meme—tell me how we met, only lie to me—and spin their yarns based on science fiction or fantasy stories. The entrants focused more on "how we met" than "lie to me," but we still got some very entertaining "meet cute" stories. Congratulations to cutest meets.

 
FIRST PRIZE:

I followed you home from the graveyard, smashed in your door, and bit your face off. You never understood me. It was never your brain I was after. It was always your heart.
(Night of the Living Dead)
—Philip Steele
Chelsea, MI

 
SECOND PRIZE:

"I was the one that you cherished and took care of before the meteorite shower," said the towering plant. "You're a good man."
The writhing man clutched by the plant's tendrils gasped desperately for air.
"But I ate your cruel brother first 'cos he peed on me all the time."
(Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham)
—Frank Daman
Omaha, NE

 
HONORABLE MENTIONS:

The Prancing Pony. After a few drinks, we started making fun of those halflings. That reminds me, was I drunk, or do you remember one of them just disappearing?
(Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien)
—Adam Allen
Powell, WY

When I first saw you, my face fell. You picked it up, dusted it off, and handed it back without a comment. Right then, I knew we would be friends.
        —Millennium, John Varley
—Lissanne Lake
North Bergen, NJ

Small, poorly designed cruiser bringing supplies to lonely outpost. Pilot. Stowaway. Weight limit. You know how this ends.
("The Cold Equations," by Tom Godwin)
—Bryan Cholfin
Cambridge, MA

F&SF Competition #83: TWEETED

Recap your favorite genre novel or short story as a Twitter post (tweet). You know what that means, right? It means you need to mimic the form of the popular social networking service by limiting your entry to 140 characters...spaces and punctuation included. Keep the slangy, abbreviated form of Twitter too. (Thanks to author and editor Jetse de Vries for suggesting this competition.)

You can tweet six of your favorite stories (and make sure to credit the original titles and authors). The funniest ones get printed, which we realize is kind of a contradiction, but we're okay with it.

Example:

"Machine works, went to yr 802,701. Met hot Eloi & fugly Morlocks. Mlocks live underground. Wonder what they could possibly eat."
—H. G. Wells, The Time Machine

If you don't include your ACTUAL HOME ADDRESS, we can't give you your prize. And that would be sad.  

Rules: Send entries to Competition Editor, F&SF, 240 West 73rd St. #1201, New York, NY 10023-2794, or email entries to carol [a-t] cybrid [d-o-t] net. Be sure to include your contact information. Entries must be received by January 15, 2012. Judges are the editors of F&SF, and their decision is final. All entries become the property of F&SF.

Prizes: PRIZES: First prize will receive a signed copy of The Bible Repairman and Other Stories by Tim Powers (published by Subterranean Press). Second prize will receive advance reading copies of three forthcoming novels. Any Honorable Mentions will receive one-year subscriptions to F&SF. Results of Competition #83 will appear in the May/June 2012 issue.